NOTICE TO ANY SPOOKS WHO MIGHT BE LISTENING: THIS IS SATIRE
It is possible that something approaching civil war is imminent in the United States. Already five people have died in confrontations between antiracists and white supremacists, beyond those killed by the police. The situation may escalate quickly, particularly if the election is as inconclusive as many expect.
I would like to propose that we form the OWG Brigade, a group of Old White Guys over the age of 70 to assume the front lines in the upcoming battles. Why is it always the youth that are killed in wars? I would gladly give my life to the struggle for justice and equality, and I think many “okay boomers” in my age cohort would join me. Male and female. We can form a buffer zone between the military-white-supremacist armies and the young demonstrators supporting Black Lives Matter. We will need training, so we should join gun clubs now. I have three guns in my house, a 16 gauge shotgun, a 45 automatic from World War I (probably only fired twice), and a 22 short. My compromise with gun control has been to not have any ammunition. Lately I’ve been joking about maybe it’s time to pick up some ammo, thinking that would be a provocative statement, even to find agreement from my most non-violent thinking friends. The clouds of war are gathering. Are you ready?